Overcome your divorce and take the NJ dating scene by storm with expert advice from New Jersey Singles matchmakers!
Dating after divorced tends to be anxiety ridden process because it’s often been many years out of the dating scene.
But dating after divorce can create a new opportunity for you to get in touch with yourself and clarify your needs in a relationship. The following article from our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts is a complete guide for dating after divorce. We hope it makes your dating experience a positive one.
1. Clarify Your Must-Haves
We want you to take some time to generate a list. You might be surprised to realize that there are aspects of your ex-spouse that you want again or perhaps several characteristics you’re not interested in. Maybe you like to work out regularly and enjoy being out and about; therefore, you might want a partner who is also social and into fitness. Having a partner with commonalities increases your chances of your relationship being successful.
2. Create a Must-Not-Have List
This list will complement the one above; in fact, you actually need to make it at the same time. Just like your must-haves, you will find that some of these are concrete and others are vague, and that’s okay. List them anyways as it will help you narrow down your search for your ideal partner. Maybe you don’t want a partner who is dishonest or someone who doesn’t want children, and those are two valid must-not-haves. Once you have created a list, keep it handy and modify it as you meet new people. Remember that your must-not-have list is not set in stone, but you should also not ignore it.
3. Let Go of Expectations
This is an important one. First, it’s a reality check because dating in the real world is completely different than in a Hollywood movie. Those couples who run for each other at parks or in fields are rare, and relationships have their ups and downs. You need to understand that no one is perfect, no date will be perfect, and no relationship is perfect either.
Not every date you go on will be a good one, but our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know every date will teach you something. You should try to enter each date with an open-mind and learn every lesson possible. On some dates, you might learn about your date or something about yourself. If you enter each date expecting a positive ending, you’ll be disappointed. However, if you enter it expecting a lesson, you’ll never be let down and you’ll become a better dater.
4. Be True to Yourself
The period after your divorce will be a vulnerable time. You might feel lost as you break out of the box and become single again. You might feel like you’re unlovable and have to change your identity and personality, but we want you to remain true to the person you are. Never try to change yourself when reentering the dating scene. The only changes you should make are improvements in areas you feel need it.
5. Take Baby Steps
Many people, because of being in a marriage for so long, forget how to date. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts want you to take baby steps throughout the whole process until you get the gist of it. There isn’t a rush to finish the race. Learn to get used to dating rather than being focused on finding your ideal partner. Move slowly so you can learn and eventually you’ll find what you’re looking for.
6. Keep Some Distance
It can be easy to get swept away by the first person who shows interest in you. It’s exciting and it feels good, especially after a failed marriage, but our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts want you to remember that this feeling is only temporary and that rush you’re feeling will eventually fade away. Don’t fall for the first person you meet in the dating world. Don’t let that moment turn into something you’ll regret down the road. Keep some distance and again, take baby steps.
7. Handle Your Social Needs
Divorce is alienating. You will feel lonely since the partner you used to spend all your time with is now gone. Who knows, you might have even lost a few friends due to the divorce as well. Dating is about being social, but it shouldn’t be the only thing on your social calendar. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts recommend that you find your identity in regards to your social needs. Hang out with friends you neglected or meet new ones. Join a class, a gym, or some other hobby or interest group that will help you reconnect with yourself. It doesn’t matter how you handle it, your social needs must be addressed so you don’t put all your time and efforts solely into dating and finding a new partner.
8. Be Open
We want you to be open to new possibilities. Your new partner might not have any resemblance to your old one, and you yourself have probably changed in the process of the divorce. Be open to new partners and new avenues of dating. Here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service, we have worked with divorced singles for over twenty-five years and are very familiar with the frustrations and challenges they face. If you would like to find a suitable candidate to date, someone who fits your must-haves and must-not-haves, then our professional matchmakers can help you out.
9. Have an Outlet
Just like anything in life, the dating process is not perfect, and you’re not going to have love at first sight. You must have an outlet to release your energy and blow off steam. This can be in the form of a hobby or working out. You don’t have to keep all your emotions hidden. A nice session at the gym can help you de-stress from a tough week at work or a string of bad dates. Trust us, it will reenergize you!
10. Have Fun
Dating is all about fun. You get to meet new people and learn new things, and you also get to learn more about yourself. We don’t want you to forget to laugh and enjoy dating along the way.
If you are a divorced single looking for like-minded local singles in NJ, contact one of our expert matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service today and let us get you started on your quest.